Ah Man…These Ain’t Even My Pants

I am often surprised by the cunning and creativity of people that get arrested. I mean after all, it takes effort to think of the crime you intend to commit and plan for the execution, find someone to help you and try to get away with it without being caught. We all know someone like this right? Sounds like this: “Man if he put the same effort and thought process into something legal, he could become a millionaire.” Well the other night I heard something that made me shake my head and laugh out loud. A police officer was questioning this guy who was attempting to bond his friend out of jail. After running the guys social and DOB, the officer let him know there was an outstanding warrant for his arrest for failing to appear. The guy was cooperative but was telling the officer that he in fact did not miss court and that there must be some mistake. “Are you sure you ran my name?” “Did you run the right social cause I’m clean man, I shouldn’t have nothin out there on me!” The officer was cordial and explained that if a mistake was made it will get worked out in court but since it’s a live warrant he would need to take him into custody. Officer: “I’m going to need to search you real quick. Do you have anything sharp in your pockets, anything that will hurt me?” Offender: “Naw man I ain’t got nothin on me.” The Officer patted the guy down and checked his pockets and there in his right front pocket was the corner of a sandwich bag filled with white powder. Officer: “What is this?” Offender: “What is what?” Officer: “This.” The officer pointed to the little white bag of powder he took from his pockets and placed on the hood of his cruiser. Offender: “You got that from my pocket?” Officer: “Yep.” Offender: “Man you didn’t get that from my pocket.” Officer: “Yeah man, I just pulled this out of your pocket with your keys and everything else you had in your pants pocket and put it right here on the hood.” Offender: “You found that in my pocket?” The officer nodded his head. “Yep right in the pocket of your pants.”

Offender: “Awe man, you know what? These ain’t even my pants.” The officer tried to hold back his grin but just couldn’t keep a straight face. Officer: “These aren’t your pants?” Offender: “Man I must have grabbed the wrong pants when I got dressed this morning.” Officer: “Yes you did son, yes you did”. I was impressed by the way this guy made an attempt to think on his feet. Although flawed, he must operate with the mantra “If you ain’t lying you ain’t trying.” Certainly, here’s what I’ve discovered: Intelligent people can do some really dumb things.